Never Question the Coach's Judgement

Yesterday, some dear friends of mine came over for an afternoon of fun and fellowship. As we indulged in salsa, chips, fresh veggies and a cookie or two, we made a promise to each other that we would encourage one another in the New Year in the ever elusive quest to lose weight and become healthier women.

We were still deep in discussion when Prince Charming walked in from his day at work. I encouraged him to show the girls his domain -- the garage -- where he keeps all of his workout and exercise equipment. I thought a tour would spark us on our vow to exercise every day.

P.C. has been a work-out-aholic for, oh, maybe 40 years now? He is very disciplined about it, but I rarely enter his domain.

Know why?

No fussing.

Come on, now. Get REAL. Do you know what's behind that door?

But first, I must digress.....

Shortly after we moved in to the old homestead (the house I grew up in) to help care for my elderly mother, my husband commandeered the garage and wrote this sign on the door - in PERMANENT marker! And he doesn't even have neat handwriting! Can you believe it? If he had asked me to I would have stenciled it nice and pretty - which is probably why he didn't ask me.


OK, now. No fussing in the garage.

Right. Get real.

Do you know what lives in our garage? (I mean, Prince Charming's garage)

Ten different assorted pieces of exercise equipment. TEN!

So, bright and early this morning, sometime before 5am (about the time my friends Laurie and Jill were going to bed), my husband pops into the bedroom and says in his sweetest voice.

"Get up! It's time to work out!"

I groan, roll over, look at the clock, say something unpleasant and unrepeatable, wonder why my friends and I dared to clue P.C. in to our plans, and fall out of bed.

"Are you coming?"

"In a minute"

First I must find some tennis shoes. 15 minutes later I unearth some from the back of my closet at the bottom of a laundry basket full of discarded shoes. It's been awhile since they've seen daylight.

I stumble to the garage.

The Coach gives me my first assignment:

"You can start with 10 minutes on the treadmill."

"OK, honey."

Oh, man....it's been awhile, but I survive - barely.

"Move to the bicycle. 10 minutes on the bike."

OUCH! Man, that seat is HARD! Even with way too much cushion on my behind, it's way to hard.....

"Can you lower the seat please?"

P.C. Is close to 6 foot. I'm close to 5 foot. My feet don't exactly reach.

2 minutes later....

"Um....could you move the handlebars in a little closer please?"

3 minutes later...

"OK. I think that's been 10 minutes, honey. What would you like me to do next?"

"Here. Let me show you. I do it with 40 pounds, but we can start you off easy with 10 pounds."

Looks easy enough.

Oops...

"Honey, I'm stuck. How do I do this?"

"You just use your stomach muscles and raise up."

"Um....what stomach muscles?"

I think I left them in bed under the warm blankets.

"I don't think this exercise will work for me right now, honey. Maybe in a month or two."

With no weight.

"That's OK. You can do some bench presses instead."

"Can you take some weight off, dear? I can't lift the bar off the holder-thingy."

"There's no weight on it to take off, sweetie."

Oh.

"Maybe we should start with one of my exercise videos for abs...."

Hubby has one of two to choose from.

As I start the video, my mind begins to wonder.....

I wonder if these will fall down on me while I'm lying here?



Well, at least it would put me out of my misery.....


Prince Charming likes to ride bikes. Not just around the block, more like in 30 mile segments. He has more bikes in the attic. Do you think he's spoiled?

"You don't have to do the whole video, honey. I don't want you to get too sore. Take it easy your first day."

"Are you sure? Really? I'm willing to do the whole thing, but if you insist, I'll stop."

"I guess I'm done. There doesn't seem to be too much else to do out here."

I hope he doesn't make me kick and punch this......



Maybe he'll forget about these......I don't think they make them small enough for me......



This is definitely WAY to big for me...besides, I can't reach it.



"I have to go get ready for work. Thanks for working out this morning."

YES! I'm finished. I'm OFF the hook!

"We'll do this again tomorrow and everyday for the rest of our lives."

Shoot. Not off the hook.

"Maybe tomorrow we should swim."

"Whatever you say dear....."